READY TO THROW THE WEDDING RULE BOOK OUT OF THE WINDOW?
Weddings for the untraditional
Don’t throw away all your personality just because it’s wedding! H|ere’s my guide to creating a wedding that is perfectly ‘you!’
The chances are, you’re not particularly well practiced in getting married, or throwing a wedding (and if you do have experience of either, you’re probably not looking at recreating a carbon copy of the one you did before). One of the things I love about the industry the most is the plethora of options couples have now – whatever you want for your wedding, you can probably get it. And if it doesn’t yet exist, you can find a bunch of suppliers who will be willing to make it happen for you!
With that, however, can come a level of worry. A lot of my couples have some wonderful alternative non-traditional wedding plans, but worry that, come the day itself, it won’t actually feel like a wedding at all – and there’s no way of knowing til you get to the day itself, which feels like quite a high risk strategy! As someone who’s been to a fair few of them, I can categorically say that your wedding will still feel like a wedding. There’s a huge difference between a non-traditional wedding and a non-weddingy wedding – and here’s how to make sure it’s the former and not the latter.
Firstly, you need to work out what ‘a wedding’ means to you. Legally, of course, it’s a ceremony that enters you into a marriage, but we all know it’s so much more than that! It’s a celebration of the two of you as a couple, and for lots of people a chance to party hard with your loved ones (and for some, it’s more of a private, intimate affair – that’s okay too.) Once you nail what the significance of a wedding is to you, you can then work out what will make it for you.
The next step is to work out what the most important part of a wedding is for you both. Is it the dress, or your family and friends, or the first dance, or having a paid bar? Whatever it is, make sure you hold it in the reverence it deserves on the day. Having this key ‘weddingy’ element there – and that’s weddingy in feels, rather than in looks – will help it feel sufficiently like a wedding for you.
For example, brides are traditionally given away by their father as the legal ownership was literally being transferred from father to groom (sorry, could you just grab that for me? It’s just my eye that’s rolled past you – they rolled back so far into my skull that they popped out.) If that doesn’t feel like something you’re comfortable doing – because you ain’t nobody’s property but your own – but you still want to thank your parents for everything they’ve done, why not have them both walk down the aisle before you, or thank them during the ceremony? The opposite of this is also true. If there’s a tradition that really does resonate with you – don’t feel pressured to get rid of it for any reason.
What about Traditions”
Another key part of having a personalised wedding is scrutinising traditions and what they actually mean. You can use this to then work out whether they feel like a good fit for you and, if they don’t, how you can make your own new tradition instead, like having a pinata instead of a wedding cake.
An next on the mic…
BE TRUE TO YOU
Who says you have to do speeches after dinner, or even have them at all? Maybe you’d prefer to get them out of the way early so you can relax into the party, or you want to replace speeches with an open mic where friends and family share stories. You could even flip the whole day on its head and have a cocktail reception before the ceremony. The beauty of a non-traditional wedding is that there are no rules – just the freedom to celebrate your relationship in a way that feels true to you.
Throw away the rule book
One of the best things about throwing the rule book out the window is that you can design a day that feels like you from start to finish. That might mean swapping a formal sit-down dinner for a street food truck, hosting your ceremony in a cinema, or having your dog walk you down the aisle (or a dinosaur – either way!). A non-traditional wedding gives you the freedom to choose details that tell your story as a couple rather than ticking boxes because “that’s what’s usually done.” Your guests will love it too because nothing beats walking into a wedding that feels totally authentic and full of personality.
CEREMONIES
It’s worth focusing on the ceremony for a hot sec. Please rest assured that your non-traditional wedding will always feel like a wedding, purely due to the fact that it is – newsflash – a wedding. I can totally understand why you might be worried, but weddings are so wonderful because of what they represent and how they feel, not what they look like or, to a certain extent, what you do. Regardless of whether you have a Humanist ceremony, a civil ceremony or a religious ceremony, and whether you even have it in front of your guests or separate from a bigger party, everyone is there with one goal: to celebrate and honour and congratulate you two as a union. It sounds so cheesy but it’s true – even the biggest ravers you know aren’t as emotionally invested in big parties as they are you two on your wedding day! The unique mix of people you’ll have brought together – with only one thing in common, that they know and love you – and the unique combination of your influences and personalities will result in a day that’s got you written all over it. That’s the beauty of weddings!
Planning a non-traditional wedding?
If you‘re planning a wedding that is non-traditional, and you want someone who will photograph it in all it’s wonderful, fun eclectic glory, I’m your gal.
My work kinda reflects what the inside of my head looks like: rainbow-bright colours, fireworks going off, wedding guests bouncing around to 80s funk, and at least three people laughing and/or crying. If that’s the kinda thing that floats your boat, then let’s get together and have a chat.
See my fave London Weddings
My Guide to Getting Hitched in London
Whether you’re getting hitched in a warehouse, gallery space, old chapel or a London boozer, there’s always so much to capture.
London is a photographer’s playground, with stunning spots like Primrose Hill or St Pancras (my favourite building ever!) or the vibrant markets or the brutalist Barbican…the list goes on. I’ve shot glorious weddings at the Union Club in Soho, 100 Barrington, the amazing Wilton’s Music Hall, not to mention all the lovely Town hall weddings including Marylebone Town Hall, Islington Town Hall and Hackney Town Hall.
Click below to discover my Guide to London Weddings, including my fave venues.